By T.J. DeGroat

While catching up over lunch a few years ago, high school friends Abby Wilner and Alexandra Robbins did something many twentysomethings are afraid of: they dropped the act and admitted that their first few post-college years had not been as happy and fulfilling as they’d hoped.

The realization that they were in the same boat led them to wonder about their peers, many of whom seemed to be struggling to transition from student to adult. Dozens of interviews later, Wilner and Robbins co-wrote “Quarterlife Crisis: the Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties,” a successful book that has turned the term quarterlife crisis into the buzzword du jour.

The book, which offers advice and insight into the minds of twentysomethings, wasn’t expected to be a big seller. But sure enough, the first printing of 7,000 copies quickly sold out and the book has gone on to sell more than 100,000 copies, becoming a New York Times bestseller and an Amazon.com editor’s pick.

In her late 20s, Wilner has found success as an author, but more importantly, she found her calling -- to help other twentysomethings. And help is needed. A quick look at the www.quarterlifecrisis.com message boards (which Wilner runs) proves that this generation of young adults is looking for guidance.

Wilner talked to Hatch about her book, her Web site and her hopes for her peers.

Why is this issue so important to you?

I think the quarterlife crisis is more significant than ever today because it’s essentially taking longer than ever to become an individual adult, settle into a career, create a family life, become financially independent.

What prompted you to write the book?

It all started with my own crisis, and I was amazed that there was nothing out there. It seemed pretty obvious that this is what everyone was going through. I really wrote this to help me get through my own crisis, so the fact that it’s helped others is amazing.

Why are we so stressed?

In terms of this phase in our lives, it’s the first time we’re dealing with a lot of new responsibilities -- paying rent, dealing with insurance, looking for real jobs, becoming serious about relationships. It’s so stressful today because college or high school really doesn’t prepare you enough for finding a career. In past years, parents would find a job and stay there for years, but that’s not the case anymore. You know, we’re used to school, knowing what comes next, always knowing how to succeed. Struggling with uncertainty after school is a shock.

You talked to a lot of peers for the book and conducted several surveys for the Quarterlife Crisis Web site. Have any of the results really surprised you?

I think what’s surprised me is that this seems to be such a global phenomenon. I didn’t expect a huge interest outside of the United States. I expected other countries to be accusing us of being whining, spoiled Americans. But the book has been translated into five languages and there have been people contacting us from all around the world.

You mentioned the whiner label. What do you say to people who think we’re just whining or that the quarterlife crisis is essentially a myth?

To be honest, I’m getting tired of defending it. Last night I had radio interviews with the BBC and I felt like I was doing the same exact interviews that I did three years ago here in the U.S. I think we’ve proven our point. The book has sold 100,000 copies. There are 10,000 people registered through my Web site. Clearly this has struck a chord.

When we first tried to sell the book we got some rejections. Publishers told us twentysomethings don’t buy books. Initially, the publisher only printed 7,000 copies. So I think we’re underestimated. I think we have a real unique set of challenges and I think people are started to recognize that. For our generation, this is the time that’s going be hardest for us. We’re doing all of the exploration now, kind of doing what our parents are doing at midlife.

Do you have any tips for people who are going through tough times right now?

Realize that it’s normal, that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s a very common experience. If something’s bothering you, talk about it with friends, family or talk about it on message boards if you want to be anonymous.

Beyond that, just be sure to leave time for all of those activities and hobbies outside of work that keep you happy. Think of what made you happy when you were younger. And don’t go into a job field because people expect it. Do what you’re passionate about.