By Davy James

Image courtesy MTV2

If you were a child of the '80s, it's highly likely you were raised by television as much as you were by your parents. PBS, quite possibly, played as significant a role in your nurturing as any other societal institution. The real important lessons that shaped us as people were as likely to have come from a giant talking yellow bird as they were from parents, and at least some people listened to the bird.

Where else could you learn the personality traits that make a decent human being? Sharing? Definitely didn't learn about that in church. Too busy staring off into space, fantasizing I was one of G.I. Joe's special commandos.

Sharing came from Mr. Rogers, who I still suspect to have been on some serious dosages of lithium. Could anyone possibly be that happy and mellow in the faces of screaming children without some chemical assistance?

Tolerance and acceptance of others? Certainly didn't learn about that in school -- quite the opposite, in fact. No, that came from Ernie and his life-partner, Bert.

It stands that Sesame Street and Mister Rogers' Neighborhood may have had more of a positive impact on generation after generation of young Americans than any other form of entertainment. But is the love still there after all these years or has it fallen by the wayside with our national innocence? In this modern era, a backlash was inevitable, and it can be found on MTV2 in the form of Wonder Showzen.

Wonder Showzen is a spoof of children's shows aimed at the sickest of adult minds. Think Sesame Street if Sesame Street had a skid row at the end of the block. Think Mr. Rogers if Mr. Rogers was a raging heroin addict, and you have Wonder Showzen.

Wonder Showzen is the brainchild of former South Park and Late Night with Conan O'Brien writers Vernon Chatman and John Lee. Every episode begins with a disclaimer which reads:

Wonder Showzen contains offensive, despicable content that is far too controversial and too awesome for actual children. The stark, ugly, profound truths Wonder Showzen exposes may be soul crushing to the weak of spirit. If you allow a child to watch this show, you are a bad parent or guardian.

Some of the lessons included in Wonder Showzen's messages are that "danger can be fun," and "imagination can lead to a terrible fate." Wonder Showzen combines puppets with cartoon segments and educational films while real child actors are unknowingly spared the meaning of the lines they read.

One such segment features children being asked, "Where do babies come from?" Some of the answers given are, "A desire for welfare," "Carelessness" and "Ignored prayers."

Another segment finds Clarence the puppet as a man-on-the-street interviewer for a series titled "What gets you riled up, Harlem?" Clarence roams the streets of Harlem for answers from sometimes less-than-cooperative interviewees. One of the overriding messages of the segment, which Clarence gets from one subject is, "If you get mad at someone, you should probably kill them." When telling one hesitant Harlem resident that the interview is for the kids, the man replied, "F*** the kids!" At which point a graphic appeared onscreen and written in crayon, displaying the same message.

There is also political and social commentary underlying the madness of Wonder Showzen. A cartoon on world history shows a map of the world, where the United States breaks away from North America and begins eating other countries before urinating and defecating on the rest of the globe.

Other segments include the recurring "Beat Kids," where children interview adults at the blood bank and butcher shop. A commercial spoof has a cartoon bible showing a child why he should avoid drugs and alcohol by taking them himself, before the bible goes and parties at spring break in Cabo. Soon the bible is shotgunning beers with a breakdancing Jesus, as the announcer asks, "What would Jesus brew?"

So in the end, perhaps the PBS shows that taught multiple generations about love and tolerance warped a couple of minds along the way. Really, where have all the messages of love and tolerance gotten us, anyway? Is the world a more tolerant and loving place today than when we were just kids?

Instead of uniting the masses through love and tolerance, perhaps an outright and overt attempt at uniting the masses by offending as many people as possible, regardless of race or religion, is the answer. That's more of a question for future generations, anyway. But at least Wonder Showzenmakes for some damn fine television. And ultimately, isn't that what really matters?

Wonder Showzen is on Fridays @ 9:30 p.m. EST on MTV2.

When not writing, Hatch editorial intern Davy James enjoys cuddling with his Tickle Me Elmo doll.