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Jessica Simpson: Desperately Seeking Steady Work
The blonde bombshell bombards the big screen
By Cholntz E. McGee
A bigger screen means bigger cleavage.
But Jessica Simpson's first appearance on the big
screen -- as Daisy Duke -- isn't just about showing off more boobage (or booty), it's about making her star even brighter.
The modern Barbie doll has only provided a glimpse of her supposed acting chops -- a recurring role on That '70s Show, a variety show with husband Nick and, of course, "acting" ditzy.
She's already proven herself as a pop star -- four
albums out, concert after concert sold out and legions of fans (you know, the 12-year-old wannabes and the college guys drooling over her pics online).
And she's certainly no stranger to magazine covers.
What's left for this 25-year-old who begs you not to compare her to Britney or Christina? Well, let's see what Britney and Christina have done ... Christina won a Grammy, Britney starred in a
movie. Christina switched her look to porn chic, Britney changed her look to skank chic. Christina got drrrty, Britney got married and pregnant -- and captured it all on tape.
Jessica didn't get that Grammy, but she's starring in a movie and busting out of her shirts and shorts all over the media. She got married and allowed cameras into her and Nick's newlywed world. Clearly, no comparisons are warranted.
Now, to break free, break from the chains of being (her uber-creepy) daddy's little girl, Jess has chosen to play the triple role of America's sweetheart, pin-up girl and devoted housewife.
As a singer, she seems to be missing the note (anyone heard her remake of “These Boots Are Made for Walking”?). As an actor, she's got much less zip than the General Lee. As an icon, she's standing in the shadows of her own breasts. And, well, Nick can probably attest to her abilities as a housewife. She's definitely got the loafing around the house thing down. And she often remembers to drop the kids off at the pool. As for her cooking, stay away from the tuna. Or was
that chicken?
Let's consult her resume.
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